Beach

We sat down at the beach. We sat there for a while. The sun was already beginning her journey to the other part of this globe. Her last rays still warm and kind. The sand under our towels also still warm. We sat there and waited.
“What do you want to do after this?”, she asked me.
“You mean with my life?”, I responded.
“Yeah…”
“Hmm… I guess I want to continue pursuing my dreams.”
“What are your dreams?”
I watched to the side, my hand burrowing itself in the sand and appearing again.
Was it safe to tell her?
I do not know her that well.
I do not trust her that much.
I looked to the side and straight into her eyes.
She was waiting patiently for my answer, not expecting anything, not pushing. Just polite and kind. Her eyes warm and brown. Giving me the feeling that it will be alright if I allow her to watch into me.
I looked to the sand again and smiled with a gaze like I see something in the distant.
“I want to […] and […].”
She waited for more, she sensed there was more behind that.
I looked at her again. Into her kind, loving eyes. Why is it so hard for me, to let someone love me?
“Sometimes I think I am chosen”
This was the first time I said this to someone without avoiding to look at them. I said it straight to her face while her eyes comforted me.
“I really believe it. But it is sometimes really exhausting. I have to live up to my own expectations and they are really high.
I have the feeling I should do something every moment. That I should pursue a goal that I do not know quite yet. But I think I am meant to be to do something big.”
We remained silent for a moment.
“I know…” I started but she interrupted me.
“It is nice that you hear your vocation. That is a gift! I think it is always hard to follow what you really want because nobody else knows it and the way to it. You yourself have to discover it. But you are not alone, people can help you for some parts of your journey. And some time off from time to time is just normal. Everyone needs a break after some time.”
I didnt expect that answer. “Thank you…”
“No problem” she said and smiled to me.
I looked back at the sea. We were alone. The sea turned red. The sun bringing the color to life that expresses what is hard for me to say.
I turned again to her and returned her bright smile.