peace

We cooked together. Simply enjoying the moment. I felt a bit useless, just watching her how she stirred in the pan. What should I do?
I enjoyed watching her, doing what she loves. The others were outside on the balcony smoking some weed. She gave off some mesmerizing energy doing what was her passion.
I sometimes feel I lack that kind of energy she was radiating. But if I see her I have hope I will find the things that make me feel like she does right now.
“Don’t watch me! I feel uncomfortable being watched while cooking!”
I laughed. “Oh sorry. But I have nothing to do…”
“Do something else than watching me” she said and laughed. Her focus changed to the various pans in front of her.
I grabbed some peanuts and threw them into my mouth. Leaning against the table I asked: “So what do you wanna watch later?”
“I don’t know. What do you have?” she said without looking up, concentrating on the frying of the vegetables and checking the cooking of the noodles. When she found that she could spare some seconds, she looked up to me. “What do you wanna watch?”
“That’s not fair!” I complained. “I asked first. But I would like to watch some Ghibli movie. What do you think?”
“Oh yes! I love ’em! Perfect for a cozy evening.”
“Nice. Then it is a Ghibli movie. I think the others wont care since they are stoned anyways”
She laughed. “Probably”
Finally I had something to do. I left her in her domain and went to mine. I turned on the TV and scrolled through Netflix. “Ghibli. What do you have…?”
Scrolling through the movies was hard. Should we watch “My Neighbour Totoro” or “Spirited Away”?
“Ah” I exclaimed. I found the perfect movie. “Whisper of the Heart”! It was one of the movies of Ghibli I just recently watched but one of the ones which I like the most.
I clicked on it and paused. Waiting for the food and the others.
“Food is ready” Daniela shouted.
Perfect timing.

We all snuggled on the couch. The food in front of us on the table. We all dug in, enjoying Daniela’s food. She was the best.

While we were watching the movie I looked at her. Just enjoying how she was happy watching a movie with friends and enjoying yummy food. Just looking at her made me smile and happy.

After the film ended and we were watching on foreign characters the only ones left awake were me and her. The other two ones were brought to slumber by the weed. Sleeping like babies, not a care in the world.
“Did you like the movie?”
“Yes. Actually, I already knew it, but I love rewatching them. They have such a comfortable vibe to them.”
“Yeah, me too. Glad you like them. The other ones seemed to like it too…”
We laughed.
She cleared her throat. “I wanted to ask you if I could sleep here. Would it be ok for you?”
“Ya sure, no problem. My bed is big enough” I smiled at her.
“Perfect. Don’t wanna go home right now. Not the best atmosphere at home right now.”
“Oh. Sorry to hear that. If you wanna talk about it, I am here.”
“Thanks.”
She seemed relieved. But I sensed that she didn’t want to talk about it yet.
Just in that moment we heard a groan of Jim. He just woke up and had to reassess his surroundings again.
“Whoa, guys… What time is it?”
“23.46”
“Oh shit! Have to go! Sorry for falling asleep…”
I snickered. “No hard feelings. Kind of expected it.”
He laughed and stood up. He went to Steve and started waking him up. Steve just groaned “Leave me alone” and turned around.
“Come on, Steve. We gotta go. I don’t know the way back, man.”
Steve groaned again. “Alright, alright!”
He turned around and stretched with a long yawn.
“Sorry guys. But I have to guide him home.”
We all stood up and proceeded to the door.
“You stay here Daniela?” Steve asked while they were putting on his shoes.
“Yeah, don’t wanna go home yet.”
“Alrighto. Then off we go. Good bye guys.” he said opening the door.
When they stood outside we waved at each other. “See you soon, it was a really nice day.”
“Yeah! Let’s do it again some time. Get home safely!”
“Byee!”
And we closed the door and left were us two.
“Wanna go sleep?” she asked.
“Yes, for sure! I am super tired.”
She clinged to my arm. “Then off we go” she said with a grin on her face.
I smiled. Feeling her warmth made me feel comfortable and at home.

We cuddled in the bed and talked for at least an hour. About “childhood traumas”, funny encounters, our first relationships. I was happy.
I felt so safe and fell asleep more easily, my worries dissipated by her warm body which I felt on my own. I fell asleep knowing I will love to wake up.